Dumping Other Running Processes In Visual Basic

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I am looking to create an executable that, when run, dumps notepad into a text document somewhere on my drive. This is important because I want to be able to scan the file for keywords and alert the end user if they are found.

This the code I have currently:

Private Const ProcessQueryInformation As Integer = &H400
Private Const ProcessVmRead As Integer = &H10

<DllImport("dbghelp", CallingConvention:=CallingConvention.Winapi, SetLastError:=True)>
Private Shared Function MiniDumpWriteDump(
    ByVal hProcess As SafeFileHandle,
    ByVal processId As Int32,
    ByVal hFile As SafeFileHandle,
    ByVal dumpType As MinidumpType,
    ByVal exceptionParam As IntPtr,
    ByVal userStreamParam As IntPtr,
    ByVal callbackParam As IntPtr) As <MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.Bool)> Boolean
End Function

<DllImport("kernel32", CallingConvention:=CallingConvention.Winapi, SetLastError:=True)>
Public Shared Function OpenProcess(
    ByVal dwDesiredAccess As UInteger,
    ByVal bInheritHandle As Boolean,
    ByVal dwProcessId As Integer) As SafeFileHandle
End Function

<Flags()>
Private Enum MinidumpType
    MiniDumpNormal = 0
    MiniDumpWithDataSegs = 1
    MiniDumpWithFullMemory = 2
    MiniDumpWithHandleData = 4
    MiniDumpFilterMemory = 8
    MiniDumpScanMemory = &H10
    MiniDumpWithUnloadedModules = &H20
    MiniDumpWithIndirectlyReferencedMemory = &H40
    MiniDumpFilterModulePaths = &H80
    MiniDumpWithProcessThreadData = &H100
    MiniDumpWithPrivateReadWriteMemory = &H200
    MiniDumpWithoutOptionalData = &H400
    MiniDumpWithFullMemoryInfo = &H800
    MiniDumpWithThreadInfo = &H1000
    MiniDumpWithCodeSegs = &H2000
    MiniDumpWithoutAuxiliaryState = &H4000
    MiniDumpWithFullAuxiliaryState = &H8000
End Enum


Private Sub Button1_Click(ByVal sender As Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles Button1.Click
    ' Get the process id.
    Dim id As Integer = GetProcessId("notepad")
    ' Get the process handle from the id.
    Dim hProcess As SafeFileHandle = Nothing ' We could define a SafeProcessHandle...       
    Try
        hProcess = OpenProcess(ProcessVmRead Or ProcessQueryInformation, False, id)
        ' Check result...
        If hProcess Is Nothing Then
            If Marshal.GetLastWin32Error = 0 Then
                Throw New Win32Exception
            End If
        End If
        Dim oneFileName As String = "C:\dump.txt"
        Using oneFile As FileStream = New FileStream(oneFileName, FileMode.Create)
            MiniDumpWriteDump(hProcess, id, oneFile.SafeFileHandle, MinidumpType.MiniDumpWithFullMemory,
                              Nothing, Nothing, Nothing)
            oneFile.Flush()
        End Using
    Finally
        If hProcess IsNot Nothing Then
            hProcess.Close()
            hProcess.Dispose()
        End If
    End Try
End Sub

Private Function GetProcessId(ByVal processName As String) As Integer
    Dim id As Integer = -1
    Dim processes() As Process = Process.GetProcessesByName(processName)
    If processes.Count = 0 Then Throw New ArgumentException("Could not find the process specified", "processName")
    id = processes(0).Id ' There could be many processes - we just grab the first.
    For Each p As Process In processes
        p.Dispose()
    Next
    Return id
End Function

My problem is that whenever I run this code, I get a blank text document. I know that the function MiniDumpWriteDump is returning false, I just cannot figure out why - which is why I'm here.

For your information, this happens with every process BUT itself.

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Here is an answer to this question. Please forgive me for being so impatient as to not search enough!

MiniDumpWriteDump (C#) produces zero length dump files for specific process