Context
I'm constrained to using Python 2.5.4 in a Windows 95 environment and need PIP. Those running versions earlier than 2.7.9 (after which PIP came pre-installed) are supposedly able to install PIP by following the instructions in this link.
Obstacle
Trouble is the file, get-pip.py, referenced in the previous link is written with python 3 syntax, so at runtime it throws a host of SyntaxErrors in the 2.5.4 interpreter.
What I've already tried
I've managed to refactor get-pip.py, and it runs successfully up until it starts throwing more SyntaxErrors at the point where it executes the code derived from the binary blob, which I was unable to refactor.
Based on a suggestion in this post, I've tried to install other libraries, including the PIP package manager, from their unzipped tar files (link to compatible PIP tar) via the included Setup.py script. In PIP's case, this throws ImportError: No module named setuptools. My attempt to remedy this by installing the compatible version of setuptools per the instructions (link) for Windows failed because of a dependency with socket.py. And so on, and so forth.
Conclusion
Is PIP even possible in Windows 95 with Python 2.5.4? If someone were to help me stop hoping it were possible, I'd let it go and move on; but as it is I've spent 19 solid hours hoping to solve this puzzle with little to show for it. Please help!