Using Javascript (Greasekit) to click two items from a list depending on my whims

Question

When this page loads, I would like to be able to use a greasemonkey-like script to click two items based on my whims.

For this example, my whims are:

1. Chocolate
2. "Alcohol free"

So, if either of the above keywords appear in a link on that page, I want the link to be clicked. In other words, the code should do something like this:

• look at all the links on the page. If any of them contain "chocolate" then click the link
• (there are two picks in total so now you have one pick left)
• look at the links in the page again. If any of them contain "alcohol free" then click that link.

Hiring someone

If it transpires that this is too complex for a StackOverflow question,

• Could I edit this question to simplify it and make it more generic (rather than close the question)
• Where could I go to hire someone to solve this challenge for me? (Maybe I should do this instead of trying to crowd source the answers from volunteers)

Thanks!