video chat. red5 faster/needed?? why not just p2p?

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Pardon my ignorance, but I am researching making a video chatroom, and what I am finding just seems really counter intuitive to me. From what I have read, it sounds like the standard is for each user to stream their video to a media server, like red5, and then the server sends the stream to the other person. Intuitively it seems like this just adds a middle man that would add lag to the video streaming because it has to go to a server, then turn around and go to a person, rather then just directly to a person. Why not just p2p with something like adobe status/Cirrus? Just use the service to get the other users ip, and then stream them your video directly? Yet, it seems like almost everyone uses an FMS like red5..

What am I failing to understand here? What is the advantage of having this "middle man"?

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It would require lots of bandwidth (download speeds may be high enough but uploads are usually low) to send the video to the viewers. NAT makes it difficult to connect to a specific computer (from the public side there is only one IP for the computers under the router).